Collaboration Forum Series 4: Optimism in tough times (Week-5)

Until the age of five, the brain grows prolifically, and makes endless pathways. But when children reach the end of this phase, there’s a system reboot, and some of these connections are pruned. Then there is a period of latency, until the age of 12 or 13. It’s a bit like winter: nice and quiet with lots going on under the ground. At this point, children are also quite moralistic and have a strong sense of right and wrong.

What comes next is adolescence. You need the period of latency to build emotional connections, because they are about to be tested. A child’s frontal lobes are getting ready to come online. They look after things like planning, risk management and delayed gratification. But the brain needs energy to develop these abilities. It powers down language and motor control, which is why teenagers lie down and grunt. Adolescence also represents the start of a child’s journey out of the family.

In many ways, parents can help by getting out of the way. Children know what they’ve got to do. They need to move and jump and talk and interact; and laugh and explore and fail and fall over. Parents can set up an environment that allows them to do that when the world is normal. But we are not living in normal times and haven’t been for 12 months. A year is a long time for a grown up but it’s an unbelievably long time for a child. Parents can help children to understand that this period won’t last forever, and they will move back into more familiar times. That will help them make sense of this experience.

I take a moderate stance on social media and technology. But my concern is that young children need time to develop motor, language and social skills. There’s quite a lot to pack into their day and screen time gets in the way of that journey. I often compare screen time and sugar. Would you give your children unregulated access to sugar without having a conversation about its health implications? Probably not. So, screens have got a place in your child's life, but you should have a plan, some rules, and limits in place.

When they reach senior school age, you’re in a slightly different territory. Social media becomes screen time and gaming is part of the adolescent experience. It’s an extension of how they define themselves as a group, how they express their interests and how they connect to each other. During adolescence, a lot of these things exist in a way that our generation is not supposed to know about. They are meant to keep us out as part of their journey to adulthood.

I’m also aware we are currently putting children in front of screens six to eight hours a day for education. We don’t know what impact this will have. We don’t know what future education will be like. Part of me hopes that virtual education will help the children I work with who struggle being in school. But I’m concerned that when the new normal arrives, we’ll have grown used to more technology in our daily lives.

There are two sides to this: the first is to understand the values they have; and secondly, their willingness to be upfront about neurodiversity.

A lot of young people talk about values more than money. They want organisations that care about their environmental impact, diversity and inclusivity. They want to work for companies that think beyond the bottom line. That’s what gives them validity and enriches their experience. It’s not about joining the bottom ranks and taking a pay cheque.

I have spent most of my career working with children and adults with neuro developmental difficulties: dyslexia, dyspraxia, autism and ADHD, for example. They are more prevalent than people realise. Companies need to understand neurodiversity as a profoundly different way of thinking. An autistic person is very detail focused, very precise and very categorised, for example. A typical brain is vague and works with ‘gist’ and coherence.

If your workforce is made up of people with different ways of thinking they are going to be valuable. But I think employers are often worried about how they will adapt. Can they just have more regular meetings with their managers? Can things be written down instead of spoken? It doesn’t mean anything complex at all. It means asking the individual what they need and how things can be adapted. So, you’ve got to work with them.

I’m mentoring a young person who had an interview for university recently. The interviewer asked: ‘Do you have anything to say?’ And they said: ‘Yes, I have dyslexia; so. I’m really interested in how the university would support me…’ The interviewer replied: ‘Well, we would try and assist, but in the modern workplace we wouldn't want you to use this as an excuse.’ This is the 21st century. You can’t say that.

When a young person approaches an organisation, they’re testing them out; it’s a two-way process. Future generations have a much stronger sense of their identity and they don’t want to compromise. They want to join companies that value authenticity. We need to help people understand and feel comfortable with difference. My children have educated me enormously around this topic. So, actually, the young people are the answer to our understanding of these issues.